Author: Christi Budelman

I have seen your dirt covered hands and knees. The sweat on your brow as you break the ground and prepare for the new seed. Your bent over back, sore muscles and calloused hands, all signs of the intense labor it takes when breaking new ground, has not gone unseen by me. This season has seemed unending to you, as if this garden that held so much hope for you in the beginning now will never become because of your weariness of the labor.

Dear One, its time to walk the garden and see all that has been done! As you walk through this once dry, hard, weed filled packed ground see what I see! I see new ground, tilled up to reveal the old root systems and hidden places to create fresh earth. Can you smell its new fragrance? See the hope and promise that lies in the earth?

Its time Dear One, release the seed and let, Me, your Master Gardener, tend to its growth. There will be no need for you to watch and pray for it to live, for the seed is destined to be broken so that the new life can come forth. It will thrive under my care as long as your eyes are on Me. There will be no need to strive to make it become, I have already destined it to become.

Dear One, release the seed and join me as I sing over the promise, as I water it with my love, as I feed it with my presence. Beloved, it is time for the new to arise, its time for the seed to be broken and the shoot to burst forth, while it also shoots down in new roots. It’s time for the flowers to bloom, release their fragrance and show their promise of the harvest to come.

It’s time Beloved, take my hand and come dance with me in the new garden, celebrating new life and all that I can do in this once weed infested, dry and hard ground!

“The ruins will be rebuilt, The neglected land will be worked again, no longer overgrown with weeds and thistles, worthless in the eyes of passerby. People will exclaim, “Why, this weed patch has been turned into a Garden of Eden! And the ruined cities, smashed into oblivion, are now thriving!” The nations around you that are still in existence will realize that I, God, rebuild ruins and replant empty waste places. I, God, said so, and I’ll do it.” Ezekiel 36: 35-36 Mess.

Take Heart

Take heart my love, for I AM with you. I know this season has seemed at times unbearable. Full of digging in to deep forgotten places. Full of swirling tides that have allowed the sediment to rise AND you have felt pulled off course, alone and forgotten. 

I KNOW.     But I AM. 

I AM the God of the forgotten places, I AM the God who rebuilds and restores. I AM the God who controls the tides, the rising and the receding. I AM the God who flushes out the sediment and restores the clarity. I AM the God who breathes life into the sails that carry you forward in ME. 

In ME you are not alone or forgotten. In ME you are whole, complete and fully LOVED. In ME you find your true north, your plumb line, your straight and narrow path. In ME you find true strength, authority and Identity. 

In ME you find YOU and in YOU, you find ME. We are ONE, YOU and I. 

For I AM.

“Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”

Colossians 3:1-4 NIV

Hope is Never Lost

Hope is never lost for I am Hope and if I am in you and I am Hope, joy and peace are promises I keep. When you have felt lost, alone and hopeless, even fearful to have Hope again, I am here waiting, full of Hope for you. Like a new born baby in the arms of its Mother, Hope radiates from the promise fulfilled of new birth. Like the first signs of Spring, the buds on the trees and the daffodils popping up from their winter sleep. Your heart leaps with Hope and the promise fulfilled of Spring. Hope is never lost for I am Hope and when you come face to face with me, sheltered in my presence Hope floods in. I cover and fill every part of you until joy, peace and love spill out. I want to lavish you with Me, with My Hope so that joy and love will radiate from you, shine off you as My face is turned toward you in love. 

“Now may God, the inspiration and fountain of hope, fill you to overflowing with uncontainable joy and perfect peace as you trust in him. And may the power of the Holy Spirit continually surround your life with his super-abundance until you radiate with hope!” 

Romans 15:13 TPT

A new word for a New Year — EDEN — 2018 The Year of New Beginnings

Eden in American 1

The first day of spring, I can’t think of any other season that ushers in the promise of hope more than this one. Especially if, like me, you have endured through one of the darkest, rainiest, snowiest winters on record in the NW. Its been a tough one and even the strongest of the NW web footer has been pushed to their limit.

However, this morning I woke up with Hebrews 12:1-2 heavy on my heart,

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne.” NLT

I love this scripture and it has touched my heart and given me hope many times throughout my life, however, this morning the Holy Spirit had something very special he was showing me through it, he was connecting the dots for me one by one and leading me to a revelation for my heart.

About a month ago he put the word “prepare” on my heart and than he gave me the understanding of the season we were in which was the season between winter and spring. This is a season of preparation, this is when the fields, orchards and gardens begin the lengthy process of preparation that can lead to an abundant harvest many months ahead.

Now that spring is here, the Lord put the new word of “Sprout” in my mind, so of course I had to look up the definition to understand completely this word. Dictionary.com gives this definition of a sprout,

SPROUT

[sprout]

Verb (used without object),

1. to begin to grow; shoot forth, as a plant from a seed. (of a seed or plant)
2. to put forth buds or shoots
3. to develop or grow quickly

Notice that a sprout has very little to encumber it as it grows. It’s life and nourishment comes from the one that champions its growth (the gardener). When the seed was germinating under the earth, in the dark, it was waiting. Similar to a pearl, when grown in the dark insides of the clam, it waits for the moment of discovery. For the seed its the moment or set timing in it’s life where it can burst, emerge or sprout up through the dark to the air and sun that it needs desperately in order to grow and later bear fruit for the harvest.

Our family has been in an expedited growth season since January, this season started with a deep hunger for change and growth, then became marked as preparation as the seeds were planted deep, germinating, receiving nourishment for the appointed time to sprout and burst forth. Hebrews 12:1, teaches that in order to survive the expedited growth and bursting forth we must strip off every weight,  we must drop all the filthy rags of the past, the Voice Bible says, “every sin that clings to us and slackens our pace, so that we are able to run, with endurance the long race set before us.” It is a long season for most seeds before they see their harvest, it is a masterful marathon of fertilizing, pruning, weeding and nourishing that brings an abundant harvest.

As I look ahead with excitement for the rebirth and promise of Spring that will lead to even deeper growth time of the summer months, to the bounty of fall that harvest brings, I pray the garden of my heart would cling to this scripture, that it would be emblazoned on my heart so that I can run unencumbered the race the Father has already set before me.

The new song by Kari Jobe, In The Garden, inspired my heart this morning that lead to this revelation the Holy Spirit gave me for Hebrews 12:1-2 and this new season. The lyrics are beautiful and the song has awakened my soul. This sprout of promise is a masterpiece of God’s creation.

“The Garden”

I had all
But given up
Desperate for it
A sign from love
Something good
Something kind
Bringing peace to every corner of my mind

Then I saw the garden
Hope had come to me
To sweep away the ashes
And wake me from my sleep

I realised
You never left
And for this moment
You planned ahead
That I would see
Your faithfulness in all of the green

I can see the ivy
Growing through the wall
‘Cause You’ll stop at nothing
To heal my broken soul

I can see the ivy
Reaching through the wall
‘Cause You’ll stop at nothing
To heal my broken soul

Ohhh
Ohh, You’re healing broken souls
Ohh, You’re healing broken souls

Faith is rising up like ivy
Reaching for the light
Hope is stirring deep inside me
Making all things right

Love is lifting me from sorrow
Catching every tear
Dispelling every lie and torment
Crushing all my fears

You crush all my fears
You crush all my fears
With Your perfect love
Ohh-ohhh, with Your perfect love

Now I see redemption
Growing in the trees
The death and resurrection
In every single seed…

Recently I have been challenged in business and in life to discover those things that are hidden in plain sight. I think we’ve all experienced the fun of losing sight of our cell phones one time or two and then engaging the whole family in an urgent search only to find out it has been in your back pocket the entire time. There’s also the long standing story of the missing glasses only to find out they were on your head the whole time. The idea of something or someone being hidden in plain sight has come to mean something entirely different to me though as I’ve had it running on rewind in my head to the point that I finally realized that God was asking me to slow down and abide with him here. That he had something new for me to learn.

So I slowed down, got quiet and listened. I knew it was a revelation for this blog because when considering how a pearl is made they are hidden and yet the oyster shell is in plain sight, waiting to be opened and the treasure discovered.
The Lord reminded me of my past with him, of my walk as a child, teenager, college student, newly married wife and mother and to now. One theme has been clear through my walk, I knew I was always made for more. I have never been satisfied with mediocre, in fact those times of my life that I did settle,  when I thought I could run my life, I ended up falling in love with comfortable which soon became a prison and the darkest times of my life.

This feeling of being called to something greater has its downside though as many times you are left with a feeling of not fitting in. A feeling if left to the flesh to expound upon turns into, “I don’t fit in” or isolation because you feel different and don’t feel understood or you may swing the other way and feel like you are too intense, too much. 

As the Lord has awakened my heart in fresh and new ways in the last three years and as I was in my quiet place with him now, he has begun to spotlight those areas of my life where I had believed a lie. One of the biggest lies I had believed was that I wasn’t valuable, that my voice didn’t matter and that I didn’t fit in. This is a lie meant to entrap and isolate so that you never believe your true identity and purpose for living. It leads to complete confusion and chaos in life as one feels the call to something greater and knowing that you have something inside of you calling you out but at the same time not knowing your identity or the authority at which to step forward in it. 

 As I have been called to go deeper and know the Lord more. I have found my identity in him and the sweet intimacy that only comes in the heart of the father.   I have found that I must get alone with God, for it is in the quiet intimate moments with him that we hear his voice. That I must be in his word to know truth and to renew my mind daily with it.  He brings us in close to love, heal and reveal himself to us so that we can turn around and share his love and revelation with others.

 When I am quiet with the father, understanding my identity in him and the love and intimacy only my creator can fulfill in me. It allows me to know that no matter where I am, what I’m called to, who I am serving with, I am enough because he has hidden me in plain sight. I need not fear of being too much or not enough.  This puts my relationship in alignment with him as it is meant to be, making me second. When I am hidden in him, than and only then can others see Jesus in me.  You see, many people confuse being hidden and set apart with isolation and unworthiness but when he sets us apart it is not for isolation it is not for desolation it is for revelation. 

Being second and hidden in Christ allows me to walk out his purpose for my life at peace knowing I am right where I am supposed to be.  

I choose to be hidden in plain sight. 

This blog has been a long time coming. I started one previously under another name but something just didn’t fit. It was like putting on a pair of shoes that sort of fit but not well and that I know if  I was to wear them for a long period of time blisters would start to form from the material rubbing in the wrong places and ultimately they would end up on my shelf in my closet unused because they weren’t the best fit for me. That’s pretty much what happened with my last blog. I had moments of revelation with it but honestly believe it was for that season, that moment in time. This blog however, Pearl of Promise I can feel will be different as I feel the name and theme behind every part of it was a revelation from the Lord downloaded to me with the intent to bring encouragement and show God’s love through my story.

So why Pearl of Promise? Well the Lord tells us in Matthew 13:45-46 that we are a pearl of the finest value and were bought at a great price. This first part speaks to me of the love of the Father and of our identity to him and the second to the seed of greatness and purpose that he has placed in each one of us that we must seek out and discover for ourselves. The pearl also represents the story that makes me, me and you, you. The story that needs to be shared and poured out as a gift or a treasure.

Why promise? Because many many times a promise involves waiting and often times our deepest longings for our promise involves waiting in silence, with what can appear to be very little evidence of growth or movement. And by waiting I don’t mean being in a position where depression, loneliness and isolation occurs but instead a waiting place of expectation, of faith. Similar to a seed planted into soil a pearl is not made in the light, it is made in the protected darkness inside the shell of an oyster, being made unique, beautiful and set apart.

The Lord has placed a pearl, a seed inside of my heart and as we enter this journey together  I am waiting in expectation for all that he will reveal in his timing, to tell his story of love, faithfulness and goodness.

Love ~Christi